I need to catch up on sleep so just a little post with lots of pictures this time. So much has gone on over the past fortnight that all I can really say is:
I have had the support, love and encouragement from some incredibly inspiring people as I have plowed though 17 consecutive 10-14 hour days.
I have filmed a two week commercial shoot with one of my longest, funniest pals by my side
Had my photography featured in a tech magazine (yep, I didn't see that coming either- the power of the #selfie eh?)
Stayed up past 6am. Twice.
Had the Renault campaign I modelled for be advertised in Stylist magazine
Been featured in a Wrangler and Kimbra music video/commercial collaboration
Had my writing debut at Siberian Lights + Blue Ash's Lets Talk About Sex, Baby jukebox night and performed my piece Never in a line up of some insanely impressive actors and writers
Had a man jump out of a wardrobe at me on an ITV Commercial
Rehearsed two of my own pieces for a new all female comedy night
Played in the fountains at 11 o'clock at night near Kings Cross
Met some insanely cool people who I'm looking forward to spending more time with
Started managing a jungle themed cinema
Attended a couple of brilliant castings
And eaten lots of brisket topped nachos
My life is inexplicably wonderful. Even when amongst all the fantastic fun stuff I had my first panic attack in over 2 years. I had to be rescued from Waterloo by one of my #PPHQ squad who came in a heartbeat. Sometimes it all just gets a bit overwhelming but having the time to breathe is necessary. Even if you're forced into it. Taking a step back and enjoying the madness is vital to appreciating it.
So yes I am thankful for so very many things. For the abundance of photos and videos of my niece and nephews that now have taken over my phone gallery, the throbbing pain in my feet, the 6am wake ups, for Iceland £2 fry in 8 minute meals, the wanted posters and I miss you texts from friends. I am elated with the madness of this life I lead and I thank you all, even if you are just a passing reader of this blog, thank you for being part of it all.
Sometimes people misinterpret what I mean when I say I'm a Positive Living Enthusiast. The general assumption is that a run around all today trying to convince people that the world is sunshine and rainbows and that we should all sing in a daisy field holding hands (even though I would love that). Trust me, I tantrum, I cry, I argue, I fret but my positivity comes from my faith in the future and my love and what is happening right now.
If ya'll wanna know about my past feel free to read my previous post because, like all of us, I've had my seriously dark days. However the joy is that I know they are over. I can't change them or erase them they have been done. I now also chose not to spend time analysing the gone days to work out how they have made me a better me - I just am a better me, right now and that's what's important!
I chose to see the joy in things. When I can. I threw a literal tantrum (20 minutes of me lying upside down on my bed snapping at my housemate) because I couldn't find my keys. He found them for me. That was my joy, that he took the time to help this whiny brat and I ensured I thanked him for doing what he could to enhance my life - because I'm a forgetful mess. Yes I like to be positive but I am also human and stuff doesn't always go the way I hope but that doesn't mean it's the end of the world. It's just a redirection.
If I have a 6am call time 2 hours away from my house know that I will be there at 5:45 chipper as a squirrel (new favourite phrase) because I am living the life I have chosen; the life I love. I don't mope that is so far away, or so hard to get to, I plan my route, I go to bed early and I enjoy the experience. Too many people seem to like finding the negatives, the problems rather than seeing the new challenges and experiences that will help us grow!
I'm not gonna come up to and tell you to turn that frown upside down if you're having a bad day. I'm going to let you know that there is someone there who will listen to you and if I can I will help be that physically or just reminding you that your are stronger enough, smart enough and brave enough to face whatever it is yourself.
Being positive isn't about being happy-clappy all the time (that's just a side effect) it's about having hope for the future and having faith in whatever you are doing right now is necessary in leading you to the life you want. So every now and then I will mope when I burn my favourite shirt ironing but I have a wardrobe full of clothes- it's not like I now have to run around topless!
But I'm the grand scheme of things I see and feel joy every day because I chose the path I lead every day. So when I say I write a positive living blog and I get those sideways 'oh so you get high and tell everyone how much you love them' look know this - I have never consumer a recreational drug in my life and I don't love everyone, some people are vile and mean. But the people who I choose to surround myself with and the daily choices I make, make me happy. It is our choices that lead us to a positive, free life so choose wisely.