When I moved to London I had one friend. One. I thought we'd pop round each others house for cups of tea, meet in the city centre for cocktails and just frolic around the wondrous city. Then I realised how bloody massive London is! I came from a town where there was two pubs, one hourly bus and a college, not even one café Nero. You could walk to the next street over and be at your best mates in two minutes. London however, as well connected as it is, is full to bursting with well stuff. But that means its full of new opportunities. And new friends.
Growing up I thought I struggled to fit. I was bigger, louder, more determined, more headstrong than most (all!) 15 year girls in my area. It took me ten years to realise its not about fitting in. Its about being yourself. And loving her (or him - you do you!) because they are the person you are always gonna have to live with. I didn't move to London with the intention of making friends, that may seem harsh but let me explain - I went with the intention of putting the best me out there to the world and whomever wanted to hangout was more than welcome to, as long as they brought good energy with them. I aimed to always present a positive energy, be honest, focused, caring and supportive - to myself. I then promised myself that is how I would treat others. Think of how you talk to your best friend, you support, compliment and love them - that is exactly how you should treat yourself because no matter how fantastic your best friend is only you have the power to change your own life. And you do that by changing your mindset to a positive, open one.
I have walked away from 'friends' because of the way they treat themselves because in turn they then treat me in the same way. Pessimism, negativity, bitchiness - its not productive to anyone. I will only actively chose to spend time with those who make me feel good about me and when I feel good I can make them feel good about them. Its basically the opposite of a vicious circle! A loving line if you wish.
And because of that I am now surrounded by the ultimate squad! I was a girl who was invited to parties just to be ridiculed I now spend time with hilarious, hardworking, supportive people who make my life brighter. They are my #positiveposse! From workshops to performance jobs to play readings to those fun little money earners in between I have met people who's energy just brings light and happiness to the world. Then when I go home my two girls are exactly the same, their joy makes me smile and their unwavering encouragement lets me know that even though they've seen me cry, tantrum, argue and moan they have love and belief in me.
So if you do anything this year create your own #positiveposse. Those people who make you feel good and who you want to make feel good about themselves too. You'd be surprised by the change in your day to day living when you receive little messages of support, funny quotes from moments you've shared together, insider info on shows you want to see or be in, even just pictures from way back. You have a spring in your step and a song in your heart knowing that you are loved at that overflow of love can be shared with others. I make sure I make time to have the odd #powerlunch with my crew, to hear about their amazing plans and goals and to laugh about the last time one of us did something wonderfully bonkers. You won't mind changing on to four different lines to see them or even going on trains , planes and automobiles for a cuddle because no money can buy the love and support your #positiveposse can provide.
Popping bottles, kissing loved ones (or strangers- I don't judge!), dancing until the early hours - I hope everyone had a smashing new years eve. Now all the new year, new me statuses are popping up. I'm no hypocrite, I've done my fair share of them in the past. Until I realised the last digit on my calendar changing doesn't mean I should too.
Everything in life is a choice. What you're gonna have for lunch, who you're gonna marry, where you're gonna live. It is down to you to choose. Sometimes it doesn't seem like we have a choice, or that one option is scarier than the other but there is always another option.
And the wonderful thing about choices, we can make them at anytime. It doesn't have to just be at the start of the year. We don't need confirmation from the calender to say 'yep, now you should quit your job and pursue your dream' or 'yep, now book that one way flight to Goa'. You can do it whenever you want! Isn't that incredible!?
I had no New Years Eve plans. I was working both New Years Eve and New Years day so planned to do a bit of yoga and get an early night. However due to a squiffy housing situation, friends of a friend put me up, they had a couple of pals round and we all sat, drank and chatted, discussing how much we had changed and all of our plans for our futures. Two were starting or had just started new jobs, a few were planning the cities of Europe they want to visit, another pair were discussing their plans to move to the city. I was surrounded by aspiration, hope and joy. Just before midnight we strolled up to Alexandra Palace, a bottle of Prosecco in hand, and watched the city erupt in colour and light. People played music from their cars stuck in traffic, someone set off roman candles on the pavement, the roads were full of life. So was I. I felt ready for anything.
But my choice to evolve had been made months before that. I decided to live a positive life back in the Spring, began relearning Spanish in November, I have a new job every couple of months, learning new skills and meeting new, incredible people. I wait for no man - I find ways to better myself whenever I feel life needs a shake up, not because its a leap year.
The world is full of spectacular opportunities. They won't just arrive on the first of each year or month, they could come out of nowhere or from weeks of planning. But when they do come, grasp them with both hands, breathe your unique way of life into them and enjoy every second. You don't need to be a 'new you', you right now is amazing and capable of anything. You may not see it now, you might not even realise it this year but when you do, live the life you want and love it.