This year I have experienced the highest highs of my life and the lowest lows. A couple of times they have collided into each other and caused inexplicable moments of painful bliss. But this year has been the greatest year of my life.
I have encouraged myself to do a lot of reflection this year. My main reason for this is to remind myself that without realising I have reached my destination, I have obtained success. Not because of a thing, or person, or job - but because I feel truly free living out my purpose of engaging emotions in others so that they can see that anything is possible.
5 years ago I walked home from a New Years Eve party, alone and in tears. I thought I was lost, that I had made the wrong choices in life and would be hopeless and alone forever. Even just 2 years ago, the new year began with heartbreak and the feeling of not being worthy. But the whole time I had one thing left, even if I didnt realise it at the time. Faith.
I had faith in the fact that my life would get better. That I would be stronger. That I would be able to help more people to have faith in themselves too. When my number 1 fan, my Nan, was about to be wheeled into surgery to have her leg amputated 3 months ago, having signed a DNR, she said through tears
'It's my time, the Lord is going to take me now.' I told her,
'You're not going yet, there is so much more you need to see me do.'
When I visited a week later she told me my strength and positivity helped her through. Just like hers had done for me so very many times before. I know there is so much more laid out for me for us to celebrate together. Bless her cottons she's got a laminated news article about me and calls her leg stumpy, that woman at least deserves to see me on a terrestial channel this year!
People think I am crazy. That me saying I will only focus on acting and modelling jobs from this point on, that I will no longer distract myself with work that drags me off of my path, its too much of a risk. Then call me crazy. I am an actress so I will keep a roof over my head and food in my belly by acting. Because I have faith.
I have faith in my abilities. And in my work and determination. I have faith in the people around me, that they too will strive for their own greatness and still support each other in all this madness (2016 has been on a whole other level of cray!). I have faith that the industry will start to open its eyes and widen its arms to the unexpected, unconventional, undiscovered talent out there. I have faith in the no-thingness of the future - that anything can be created, at any moment and it will be a beautiful blessing to the world.
If this year has taught me anything, its that, at any moment, everything can change and rather than being scared and running away we should embrace it and run with it. I have experienced so much love and new life this year that has shown me happiness can out shine any heartache.
Let the painful moments come and show you how strong you can be. Let the joyful moments come and show you how wonderful life can be. Have faith in 2017, have faith in yourself and have faith that anything is possible.
In 2016 I marked off 6.5 out of 10 of my goals for the year. Write yours down for 2017, pop it in a sealed envelope and have faith. Lets all mark 10 out of 10 next year.
Check out my top ten moments of 2016 over on my instagram @LaurenDouglin