Live In It
2016 has been wonderfully life changing in so many ways and we haven't even hit Chrismas season yet. These past couple of months the foot has been firmly on the pedal so when I had a little bit of dollar come through I booked a nice mini break for myself to Barcelona. Then my favourite little gremlin and housemate Tyler booked as well to keep my company. I needed those 4 days more than I realised. They let me breathe in what had just come before and prepare for what is on its way.
This year my interest in mindfulness, spirituality and gratitude has grown and developed into a lifestyle choice. One friend sat in my living at 2am with me and told me she admirrs my determination but sometimea I need to live. She was right. I am so passionate about the life I want to build that sometimes I realise I should step back and look at what I have already achieved.
Laid in the hairdressers sink a few weeks ago,she asked me what I did for work, I said I'm an actress and she proceed to ask me what I had coming up and what I had been in. At that point I thought I had 'nothing coming up', auditions were quiet and I was feeling a little deflated but when I started to list what I had achieved she said 'Wow thats a lot to have done in only starting you career last year. There are others who wait years for one good job. You're doing great!' This wonderful person, whom I'd never met before, whilst lathering up my lions mane put it all into perspective. That gosh darnit, I am a living an incredible life working towards incredible things because I have been honoured with incredible opportunities.
Sometimes I do get carried away though. Both when I feel like nothing is going on and too much is going on! And thats when I get overwhelmed and my crew step in to level me out. I plan and create and invision this life and then once in a while one of the squad gives me a nudge and says
'Hey, will you live in it for a second'.
So there we were in Barcelona, pelting down with rain, not only had I got us lost on the way to the toir bus stop in thw morning I then lost the tour bus ticket when we got off for lunch. Tyler put out hia arm and we walked through the streets not a clue where we were going our what lay ahead of us. And in the moment for the first time in months of joy I felt peace. Until the taxi I was hailing stopped for a couple of old guys down the road. We drank prosecco sangria and danced on a rooftop in our swimwear. We spoke about who we were when we met 5 years ago to who we are now, taking on the world with each other for back up.
After a couple of days of everythings gonna be great bliss, a late night call from my mum informed me that my nan had a bad fall and needed life changing surgery. My nan is a hilarious, strong woman who even when she was about to have her badly broken leg removed was flirting and joking with the surgical team. It did however put things firmly into perspective. I rambled out all the things to her that I wanted her to know because she has helped get me there but I knew she wasn't going anywhere and that she'd be celebrating more great things with me. 24 hours later she was sat up in a chair, a little buzzed but strong and hilarious as ever.
Life can seem overwhelming sometimes. It can feel like its outrunning you like Usain Bolt at a World Championship. Even with a fantastic unit of people who feel and support your passion there a moments that come out of nowhere and knock you off track but not off focus. You've just got take the time to refocus once in a while. Here I am now, on a train home to see some of my friends and family that I don't get to see too often. Who sometimes when I get too busy, when I get lost, I don't always check in with so now I'm taking the time to reconnect. To live.
5/5/2023 02:49:22 pm
Hi thaanks for sharing this
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