I can guarantee that at some point in your life you're going to think ' I really should say yes more.' You know how it goes, your days seem dull, your life feels like it needs more adventure, Holly down the road says yes all the time and has just come back from an expenses paid trip to go sky diving in Sri Lanka with some guy called Sebastian.
Or maybe you need to slow down a little 'I really should say no more'. Staying an extra 10 minutes at work to help out always turns into an extra 2 hours, that girl from college you hardly speak to is in your passenger seat with her feet on the dashboard on a Sunday morning because you 'have a big car right?' so of course you help her move house, you let your boyfs little sister trim your hair for her BTEC exam when a bowl cut later you remember that little word.
Or maybe you're just a straight up flake. An I'll check my diary kinda gal who doesn't actually own a diary and will probably just spend the time she's meant to be meeting work colleagues for brunch tucked up in bed in her jimjams watching Peaky Blinders and knowing that you'd have made a top notch gangster.
The important thing is to remember which ever one you are, if you are happy, crack on. Say yes, say no, say maybe and live your days as you please.
But if you're not happy,
It's not about saying yes or no more its about saying them at the right time. You know its the right time if you feel happy with your answer. Then who gives a hoot what it is.
If someone said to me Lauren, could you hold my pet snake a second I would say yes - snakes don't bother me, I find them mystically enchanting. If the question was Lauren, could you hold my pet giant land snail a second I would politely decline as slugs and snails are the most rancid thing on the planet and make me fear that my skin would disintergrate if they touched me. I would answer the question in relevance to my happiness. Not to impress or seem like a big man but just in accordance with what I am happy with.
BUT on the flip of that you cant have growth with out challenging yourself a little, by being a little uncomfortable. Me touching a snail would not progress my life in anyway so that is a solid no but when an opportunity is presented and you think you could push you body, mind or spirit to gain the most from that opportunity then say yes.
Richard Branson says,
If someone offers you an amazing opportunity and you don't knoe if you can do it, say yes then learn how to do it later.
And I'm pretty sure he's the kind of guy who has said yes to the right opportunites.
Its about knowing who you are and what type of person you would like to be. Even if its Saturday night and society reckons I should be out on a mad one I am happy to say no thank you to my pals when asked out as my enjoyment comes from watching old series of Survivor whilst making milkshakes and dancing to disco classics in my jammies in the kitchen with my housemate.
My yeses and nos impact my happiness. They create my world. We are so lucky when given choices as its the universes way of letting us chose whether or not we want to better ourselves and our lives. Some do not get anywhere near as many chances as others so don't take them for granted and don't waste them. Let your instincts guide you and if you normally respond one way but then your gut says 'but why?' be willing to question yourself and switch things up a bit.
I've had some crazy experiences when I've said yes to things that scared me a little (you know that whole yes I'm quitting my full time job to be an actress thing) and I've kept myself grounded having said no to peer pressure and things that dont serve me (why would I ever go out drinking before an audition?!). From an incredible year working in Spain because I said no to uni bullies to singing with Aleah in Tesco because I said yes to caroling with my favourite one I don't think I should say more or less to either. I just know that when I say my yeses and nos I say them because I am trusting my gut and they are leading me to my happiness.